Aven in Colorado ♥

Picture by Anne ♥

It makes my heart happy when people remember my Aven. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. My heart will always have a piece missing. Even though my life is completely full, she is still missing. I still miss her. ♥

March 18th

Dear Aven,

I can't help but think of what would have been had you lived. I will probably "would have" forever when it comes to my baby girl. I am blessed for all I have today but you are still going to always be missing. I miss you terribly and I love you.

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it... E.E Cummings

Always,

Mom

Sigh...

Dear Aven,

Am missing you more than usual on this dreary Sunday. Maybe it is that March is here or that your due date looms as it will every year. A woman sent me a stuffed bear that weighs as much as you did, maybe it is that. Those 11 ounces sure feel heavier than I remember. It has been 499 days since I held you last...sigh. I miss you.

Love you,

Mom

Feet...

I am so very special

I have been from the start.

Before they held me in their arms

My family held me in their hearts.

 

And like a single drop of rain

That on still waters fall,

My life and love will ripples make

And touch the lives of all.

 

Cathryn Stanley

Christmas...

Dear Aven,

I miss you. Even though our family and my heart have grown, it doesn't mean my heart aches for you any less. I smile, I am content but I also am still a mom missing her baby girl. Your stocking was monogramed and hung next to mine, dad's and your little brother's. Your ornaments were hung on the tree and your little presence was very alive in our home on Christmas.

I love you,

Mom

My heart has grown...

Dear Aven,

My heart has grown because of you. I love you and know that everything that we are going through now, is partially your doing and we love that. I am happy. I know that is your doing. Dad and I wish you could be here but we also know you watching over us is what led our path here today, to your baby brother.

Love always,

Mom

Pretty things...

Dear Aven,

I found the dress your Aunt C bought for you. I was so nervous while I was pregnant with you that I decided dad and I would not buy things until we were 20 weeks pregnant but things didn't happen as we planned. I am so thankful Aunt C bought you the little pink ballerina dress. When I found it hidden in the back of a closet with my maternity clothes, it was the only item in the bag that made me smile. We do have something that was purchased just for you, well two somethings. A little pink ballerina dress and a stuffed yellow chicken. Love.

I love you and miss you,

Mom

Aven in Washington, DC ♥

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Aven and Aunt C ♥

at the Lincoln Memorial 

 

Pictures taken by Aven's Aunt C ♥

Birthday Girl

Aven's 1st Birthday Cake 

Aven's 1st Birthday Card



Pretty Letters from a pretty lady



Fall Aster that blooms during Aven's birth month,

planted in Aven's Garden by Tio Roy



A new birthday flower for Aven's Garden



Happy Birthday, Aven ♥

Dear Aven,

I can't believe a year has come. I have been anxious about this moment for a while now. I think I expected that I would somehow not survive this moment and that I would have been found crumbled on the floor but I am still here and I will survive. I am still not convinced that people can't die of a heartache but I know that I am meant to carry on with dad and your memory. You made me a mother and nothing will ever change that. Today, dad and I will celebrate along with your grandparents, how your little life changed us all. Even though we are sad sometimes, you gave us a new perspective on life and a new hope. As someone dear to us has said many times, we hurt and grieve so much because we loved so much.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes...

I miss you.

I love you always.

Happy 1st Birthday, baby girl ♥

Always,

Mom