Lost

Today is one of my down days.   I can always tell as soon as I wake up what sort of day it will be.   If the first thing I want to do when I open my eyes in the morning is cry and hide from the world, then I usually know the rest of my day will be a tough one and my strength will be tested.  I usually can’t pin point what triggers the day to start this way. Sometimes it is because of a dream I had, sometimes it is because something triggers a memory and sometimes it is just because I woke up.  My heart doesn’t care if it is a Thursday and that I have things to do and errands to run. My brain cares but my heart calls the shots on days like these. 

I was walking through the aisles of the book store this afternoon when I found a book called “Mommy, please don’t cry … there are no tears in heaven.”  I knew better but I picked the book up anyway.  I read the first page of the book knowing what my reaction was going to be.  It said “Mommy please don’t cry… a beautiful angel carried me here.” As soon as I read that I quickly shut the book.  I felt the hot tears in my eyes and my throat start to burn.  I decided it was probably best if I didn’t have a cry session in the middle of happy chatty people drinking lattes so I purchased the book, took it to the car and had a good cry. The sort of cry where all the makeup comes off and it feels like possibly the tears will fall forever. I am pretty sure no one has died of crying too much or shedding too many tears but sometimes it sure does feel that way.

One of my thoughtful friends sent me a song the other day along with the words. I finally sat and listened to it today. She sent it at the most perfect time…and on days like this it is nice to know who is out there. Thanks M...

If you lose your faith, babe, you can have mine,
and if you're lost I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

Now I don't have to tell you
how slow the night can go,
I know you've watched for the light.

And I bet you could tell me
how slowly four follows three,
and you're most forlorn just before dawn.

So if you lose your faith babe,
you can have mine,
and if you're lost, I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

When it's dark baby,
there's a light I'll shine,
and if you're lost, I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

And I don't need reminding
how loud the phone can ring
when you're waiting for news.

And that big old moon
lights every corner of the room.
Your back aches from lying
and your head aches from crying.

So if you loose your faith babe,
you can have mine,
and if you're lost, I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

When it's dark baby,
there's a light I'll shine,
and if you're lost, I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

And if these troubles
should vanish like rain on midday,
well I've no doubt there'll be more.

And we can't run and we can't cheat,
cause babe when we meet
what we're afraid of,
we find out what we're made of.

So if you loose your faith babe,
you can have mine,
and if you're lost, I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

When it's dark baby,
there's a light I'll shine,
and if you're lost, I'm right behind,
cause we walk the same line.

We Walk the same Line by Everything But The Girl