Dear Aven

I had a dream last night that I was on a raft floating on some sort of river. I was paddling away trying to get out of whatever dark cave I had managed to get myself in. Along the way when I could finally see the light I noticed the river water was actually lined with floating white daisies.  When I finally floated away from the cave, your great great grandmother and your great aunt Connie were there waving me out. Aunt Connie said to me “See you later, Alligator” and of course I responded to her “After a while, Crocodile” and just as I turned around to wave goodbye to them, they shut the door laughing away. I don’t know what heaven is like but I would like to think that wherever they are, they are laughing away and you are close by chasing butterflies with your two boy cousins. I like to think that there are no tears in heaven and that there isn’t a sense of time so the next time I get to hug you, it will be like not a single second went by since we were last together.  Happy Valentine’s Day, baby girl!

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

~e.e cummings

Love you,

Mommy