Saturday, October 29, 2011
I can't believe a year has come. I have been anxious about this moment for a while now. I think I expected that I would somehow not survive this moment and that I would have been found crumbled on the floor but I am still here and I will survive. I am still not convinced that people can't die of a heartache but I know that I am meant to carry on with dad and your memory. You made me a mother and nothing will ever change that. Today, dad and I will celebrate along with your grandparents, how your little life changed us all. Even though we are sad sometimes, you gave us a new perspective on life and a new hope. As someone dear to us has said many times, we hurt and grieve so much because we loved so much.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes...
I miss you.
I love you always.
Happy 1st Birthday, baby girl ♥
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A year ago today, my water broke and I knew that my journey with Aven was about to end.
My heart hurts today. All I can do is ask God to walk this path with me this week. I hope that one day, my memory of this day won't always be so sad and that one day I will be able to just focus on the happy moments that I did get to have carrying Aven. One day...
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I thought that once October hit that I would be full of words. I thought I would have countless things to say and write about because the month of October is the month things changed for me and dad. But, I am at a loss for words. I miss you more than I have words to describe what I mean. Words are just that, words. I miss you. Dad misses you.
Love you always,
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tomorrow should be interesting. Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the last day everything made sense in my world. The last time I ate iced oatmeal cookies because that was one of my cravings with Aven. Tomorrow is the last day that I lived and enjoyed being naive. Come Friday, nothing made sense and still doesn't a year later. I know that even as my heart heals and even as we move along in life that my happy go lucky that won't happen to me, will never exist again. Sometimes bad things happen...sigh. No matter how many times I laugh, smile or how many rainbows cross my path a piece of my heart will always be somewhere else. With Aven.