Today marks the official beginning of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. In 1988 the late former President Ronald Reagan signed a Declaration designating October officially as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in hopes of raising awareness of the millions of families that are faced each day with the loss of a child whether from miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS and other infant related deaths caused by illness.
I didn't know this existed until it hit home. My home. I am amazed that when I tell someone new about my loss, that they can relate either from a loss themselves or by knowing someone that survived or is surviving a loss. Once you know, you know. Maybe it is your sister, your daughter, your coworker or your best friend or maybe it is you.
I don't have the energy or courage to educate the way I feel I should. My grief is still my work. My focus. All I can do is let those around me know that I had a baby and she died. I will talk about her. I will remember her and I will always be proud to be her mother.
D and I will celebrate this month by attending a book signing of the book, Baby Dust, written by our friend Deanna Roy on October 15th. This day is the national wave of light day where candles will be lit at 7PM all over in honor of babies lost. We will be in the downtown area of our town with friends, supporters and fellow babyloss parents. This day also is the year anniversary of our attempt to save our daughter. Cerclage day as I remember it. The day the doctors were trying to save my Aven was the day many moms and dads before us were honoring their lost children. Ironic.
October is also my baby girl's birthday...
October is going to be a long month.