Thursday, September 29, 2011

11 months...

Dear Aven,

I woke up extremely sad and a little angry today. I have a feeling October will be a little tough in our home. I try my best to focus on the positives that are happening around us but my heart still isn't at peace with the fact that you are gone. I keep thinking that maybe I would be in a better place if we knew that you were gone because your heart had just stopped beating or because there were issues genetically that would have prevented you from having a full life but that isn't what happened. You were a perfectly healthy baby with a strong heart beat up until I went into delivery. Your death was preventable. One tiny extra ultrasound could have prevented all of this. I know I can what if all day long or if only and the outcome will still leave me here, without you.

I miss you.



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