Wednesday, July 27, 2011

You are my sunshine...

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you
In my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
and I hung my head and cried...

written by Doris Day

When I was a child, my mother used to sing this song to me only she never sung past the first verse. I will always think of my mother when I hear this song or read the lyrics. I hoped I would one day get to pass on to Aven the songs and stories my mother passed on to me. I hoped a lot of things that I never got to fulfill.

Last weekend, I sat with a group of mothers that also had a pregnancy loss. We met with the sole purpose of starting and completing  baby books. It was one of the most exhausting tasks. I didn't get very far with Aven's book. I managed to put all of her sonograms into her baby book. I am not sure when I will have the energy or desire to pick the book back up to continue with the rest of the things I have of her but at least I started. Now, the book sits next to me as I write. I have looked at the pictures a least 3 times since I began. I am still amazed that I was pregnant with her and amazed that I lost her. It is odd. Things like that don't happen to me and yet it did. Sometimes life is puzzling...

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