Sunday, August 7, 2011

No relief...

Dear Aven,

I miss you so much that my heart aches. How I manage to wake and go about my day without you here, I am not certain how I have managed to do so for this long. I think about you all of the time. I know it will always feel like this. My heart will ache for you until we meet again. I think some days my heart hurts more than others. I should expect the closer we get to your birthday the more vivid the memories roll in of what I was doing this time last year. I find myself angry and more so than usual. I am angry at myself. I am angry at life. I am angry at God. I am angry at my doctor. I am angry that my life is forever changed to grieve.  I am angry at my situation. I am just so angry... I miss you.

Love you,

Mom

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