It is always when things seem to be going “normal” that something or someone has to come along and remind us that our lives are anything but normal. We actually have a new “normal”. Our old “normal” doesn’t exist anymore. Little by little we are adjusting and learning what our new normal will be like, sometimes at the most inconvenient times and sometimes when we least expect it.
We went to get the mail over the weekend. Our mailbox isn’t close to our house really so we drive by it every so often to check it. There was a key in our mailbox indicating that we had a package. It is always exciting to get a package. It could have been anything! I realized when D walked to the car with the package how unfair things are sometimes. I wasn’t at all excited about the package and actually was a bit stung by it. It was a free package of Enfamil baby formula. I realize Enfamil has no idea our baby died. Our mailbox is constantly full of baby coupons, diaper coupons and now free baby milk. I have already been warned the free diapers will arrive next. I am lucky enough that D usually gets to the mail before I do. He weeds out all of the baby items so that I don’t have to see them or be reminded again that we have no use for those things right now. I have no idea what happened to the Enfamil. I didn’t ask D where he put it but I know it is in our house somewhere, hidden.
Bless D. Bless him for knowing what my heart can and can’t take. Bless him for having the strength to do the things I cannot. I knew from the look on his face when he realized that I had seen what the package was that he was sorry we got the mail. I know he wanted to make it vanish into thin air. I know that I probably won’t be going to the mailbox anytime soon. I also know that in time… this shall pass.
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson