Wednesday, March 23, 2011


I wish my attitiude today was positive but it is not. I am in a bad mood and what I would love to do is sit in the corner and pout until someone gives me my way. My childhood through young adulthood was easy breezy. Loving family, check. Best friend, check. College degree, check. A career I enjoyed, check. I didn't realize how easy and great I had it until now, now that things are complete and utter crap. I turned 33 and everything just seemed to become so difficult. My baby died, my job went away, my fear for carrying future children has skyrocketted to an unmeasurable level and right now my fear by far outweighs anything else. When is enough, enough? I know people keep saying well God doesn't give you more than you can handle and you will be fine. What I have to say to them is really? SERIOUSLY? How do you know how much I can handle? I am not saying my faith is gone. I am saying that today is a day that it has been seriously tested. God, please walk this path with me today...

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." ~ Unknown


  1. Hey April,
    It's Kristine from the Face to Face group. I just wanted to thank you for your honesty. I'm humbled by your constant dependence on God. Thanks for not being afraid to wrestle with Him.

    As for the people who say God will never give you more than you can handle I say uh NO. God WILL give you more than you can handle so you're forced to depend on Him.

    You can't handle it. But He can.

    I won't be at Face to Face on Sunday, but I'll be praying for you! --Kristine

  2. Be Angry. You're entitled. God gives us these days so that we look to Him for Mercy.

    Bring me joy, bring me peace
    Bring the chance to be free
    Bring me anything that brings You glory
    And I know there'll be days
    When this life brings me pain
    But if that's what it takes to praise You
    Jesus, bring the rain